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 The Collected Works of KV

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KampfVerein
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PostSubject: The Collected Works of KV   Thu Oct 30, 2008 10:41 pm

Some of you don't know this, but my English major isn't for teaching or research. It's for writing. Real, honest-to-god fiction, nonfiction, poetry, journalism, et cetera. Below are a few works I've completed that you can enjoy (or not). I know many of you will not read them and think I am an untalented, pretentious asshole, but that's quite alright.

First, a resume of publication, if you're that bored:

Quote :

- Amalgamation: Works of Rhyme, Rhythm and Reason (October 2006)
- Fearless, Lost Cause Magazine (Quarterly Issue #5 - Oct./Nov./Dec. 2006)
- Philosophies, The Guthan (November 2006)
- Raison D'être, The Guthan (December 2006)
- Death of the American Novel - Part One, CRAM Magazine (issueTwo - January 2007)
- Fearless, CRAM Magazine (issueThree - February 2007)
- Review of Kapka Kassabova's Geography for the Lost, The Roundtable Review (May 2007)
- Review of Jack Mapanje's Beasts of Nalunga, The Roundtable Review (September 2007)
- Fortuna Crapula, Semaphore Magazine (December 2007)
- Nothing Like the Sun? / Intergender Memo / Welcome Home, My Dear, Semaphore Magazine (March 2008)


MINITRUE:
Mediocrity
The Ego

THAT VIDEOGAME BLOG PIECES

POETRY:

Fortuna Crapula

Infinity forks out in fractals
from a near-empty tumbler,
stretching out in
dumbfounding combinations,
a branching tree
of cosmic possibility.

A gymnast quarter,
somersaulting
from the flick of my thumb,
keeps the surrounding stares
drowning
in the dream of brew.

It lands
in a dwindling puddle of whiskey,
Washington in profile.

Damn.
Next round's on me.

Black Holes and Revelations

The crude letter on the star gazer's desk
(just like Ralph Steadman's stationary, all
razor salutations in ink grotesque)
led police to the railing and the fall.

There's no truth in those horoscopes, he wrote,
but you'd be surprised how wise the night sky
can be. You'd think those planets, so remote,
so full of mystery, wouldn't reply.


But they are listening and know full well
that your oldest can't look you in the face,
that your wife buys comfort in a motel.
The stars said, 'You've made your mark. Now erase.'


I ignored the ones I loved for science,
and my telescope's in full compliance.


Intergender Memo

February 14, 2007

TO: Those Women I've Seen About

FROM: Jason R. Wallace

SUBJECT: Pettiness and Superficiality

I don't think you get it. Think about this in evolutionary terms: the smarter ones survive, the pretty ones get eaten. If you insist on being with an appetizer, go right ahead. Just know that we're not sticking around when the models become main courses for fine-dining worms.

For Byronic example:

She walks along the sidewalk straight
Towards modern men with fine physique.
Their tempos slow to match her gait
And off they go! Forget the meek,
The boys whose bodies more relate
To checkers games or hide and seek.

One muscle more, one stretch at less
Has dropped the normal in the dirt.
Average Joe is under stress.
A remedy for this grave hurt?
To lock one's heart up in duress
And love? To leave behind, desert.

And on those teeth and perfect eyes
She dotes and flutters lashes fair
Until the bond turns all to lies,
Romance a simple bit of flair.
What remains is a pale reprise
Of popular and cheap despair.

Pointe Work

FIBONACCI SEQUENCE: 3.5.8.13.21.34

My fingers

are but amateur

ballerinas, flesh-colored slips

perched precariously onto desktop studios.

Madame Cortex, synaptic staff at the ready, yells a curt but creative command.

The space goes silent. A collective tightening of tendons, bones bent for ballon and grand jeté! "What a lackluster leap. Adagio..."

Welcome Home, My Dear

Good morning, Mr. Hermes.
Rise and shine and
search for a new pair of kicks,
'cause I need your winged walkers.
Those god- and goddess-types
must have a little patience...
(They watch us kiss and love and punch and lie
after all.)
...so surely they can wait for those
letters to the editor.
While you're hunting for a comforting sole,
I've got to soar on a cool, crisp wind
down to the house of my love
and sweep her off those earth-huggers
she calls "feet."
She's got to fly with me
as we stretch toward the sun
and skip a finger or ten
'cross the stratosphere.
We've got to taste a bit of the sky,
a tablespoon of serenity
in shades of utter blue.
We've got to wrap our arms around each other,
clutching clouds of happiness,
hazy, warm and
"Welcome home, my dear," I'll say
when the ground gets jealous
and a bit too clingy.

PROSE:

Sucker

P.T. Barnum said, "There's a sucker born every minute."

Then again, so did Joe Bessimer.

And David Hannum. And Michael McDonald.

(The politician, not the soul singer.)

No one really knows for sure who said that magic phrase, so it depends on who you're asking.

Now, I'm no math major, no stat slinger, so I won't say Barnum's right.

Or...somebody's right.

I can offer this, though:

There's a sucker born every period.

You're reading this, aren't you? That makes you a sucker here. And here. And here, too.

After all, I can tell you anything and you'll just have to believe it.

Who's gonna argue with me? Who's gonna say otherwise?

I'm what failed novelists in tweed carrying around Conrad and teaching at a community college call "the narrator." I tell you everything you need to know and nothing you shouldn't. Of course, that comes at a price. If you read, you accept me. And if you accept me, I own you. The minute you start reading, you're mine and mine alone.

These words? These are my domain. My universe.

In here, consider me God. I'm the truth, plain and simple.

Watch.

I'm dead.

No, wait, I'm dying of cancer.

Ooh, no, even better, a mysterious Gypsy woman revealed to me the exact date of my death via a crystal ball and a little gothic ambiance.

Did I say Gypsy woman? I meant my long-lost, amnesiac sister clad in cult robes.

Do you see?

No one really knows for sure, so it depends on who you're asking.

And who else can you ask?

And who else could tell you? You don't have a say and I don't have the time for audience participation. This isn't dinner theatre, some cheap murder mystery. You didn't go to high school with this cast.

Can you taste that?

That lingering flavor of power beyond your means, so sublimely sweet that everything else in your mind and on your tongue is like brine?

Go on. Don't deny it. Savor it.

The narrator's your only friend. Other people, out there, they'll cheat you, they'll betray you, they'll lie to you.

In here, among these words, you can finally have some sense of order. Stability.

No more questions. No more arguments, accusations. No more you v. who.

Everything's gospel.

Just relax. Listen to me. Your friend. Your teacher.

Your god.

I won't lead you astray.

Then again, Keyser Söze said, "The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist."

Or was it Baudelaire?

I guess it depends on who you're asking.

Period.
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TrueIce
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PostSubject: Re: The Collected Works of KV   Sat Nov 01, 2008 3:36 pm

Jason, you sir have a gift. . .
You should keep the post coming
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KampfVerein
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PostSubject: Re: The Collected Works of KV   Sat Nov 01, 2008 3:42 pm

TrueIce wrote:
Jason, you sir have a gift. . .
You should keep the post coming

Thanks. I'll see what I can do...
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PostSubject: Re: The Collected Works of KV   Sat Nov 01, 2008 3:56 pm

Jason, you should check out this forum http://s11.zetaboards.com/TheDeadPoetsSociety/index/
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KampfVerein
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PostSubject: Re: The Collected Works of KV   Sat Nov 01, 2008 4:41 pm

Onmitsu wrote:
Jason, you should check out this forum http://s11.zetaboards.com/TheDeadPoetsSociety/index/

Alright, Austin, I registered for the forum, but I'm not sure what will come of it.
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Onmitsu
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PostSubject: Re: The Collected Works of KV   Sat Nov 01, 2008 4:58 pm

Well it's really good for those people who like to write. You'll understand if you go on enough.
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PostSubject: Re: The Collected Works of KV   Sat Nov 01, 2008 10:06 pm

I did not know Jason had writen so much
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PostSubject: Re: The Collected Works of KV   Sat Nov 01, 2008 10:07 pm

Are you kidding me? Jason actually had a book of what he has written.
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PostSubject: Re: The Collected Works of KV   Sat Nov 01, 2008 10:08 pm

I have been published in many books but I dont have my own. . .
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PostSubject: Re: The Collected Works of KV   Sat Nov 01, 2008 10:09 pm

You should ask him about it.
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PostSubject: Re: The Collected Works of KV   Sat Nov 01, 2008 10:10 pm

Ok,

So ummn Jason, how about that book?
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KampfVerein
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PostSubject: Re: The Collected Works of KV   Sat Nov 01, 2008 10:34 pm

TrueIce wrote:
Ok,

So ummn Jason, how about that book?

Terrible thing. Had it discontinued. You don't want to know about it.
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PostSubject: Re: The Collected Works of KV   Sat Nov 01, 2008 10:36 pm

IIf I didnt want to know, i would not have asked. . .


just give a few details and that maybe enough to suffice
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KampfVerein
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PostSubject: Re: The Collected Works of KV   Sat Nov 01, 2008 10:38 pm

TrueIce wrote:
IIf I didnt want to know, i would not have asked. . .


just give a few details and that maybe enough to suffice

Then why don't you just read some of it?

EDIT: If the last link didn't work, try the new one:

mediafire.com ?mtjlvdymzzm


Last edited by KampfVerein on Sat Nov 01, 2008 10:40 pm; edited 2 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: The Collected Works of KV   Sat Nov 01, 2008 10:39 pm

Ah, Thanx to you


I bet thats why your such a high ranking Atheist
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